[Sitaram]

Yes, folks, Off-Topic means I can post even about this.

I am under orders from my wife to write something for her mother, for a special card to be presented to her upon her auspicious 70th birthday.

None of her six children seems particularly motivated towards composition.

I can only motivate myself to this Sisysiphean task as a post at some forum.


Every utterance is a half truth, and eulogies are the beautiful half, omitting the remainder.


Lourdes is like that old American cowboy song, "Home on the Range."

"Never is heard a discouraging word."

I lived in her home for six months while my wife was convalescing there in a wheel chair (because of the convenience of having an elevator in the building.)

I never heard her gossip behind anyones back or make criticisms.

In the Beatitudes it says, "Blessed are the peacemakers."

She is always making peace and discretely striving to avoid trouble to begin with.

She does not drink or smoke. She attends her Catholic Mass regularly.

She is on speaking terms with everyone and is not of the nature to hold a grudge.

She is always willing to sacrifice the privacy of her home to take in a friend or family member in need.

She is an immaculate housekeeper who is always meticulously groomed and attired.

They say that an optimist is a pessimist with on the job training, but Lourdes is the perennial optimist.

Even at her ripe age she goes to the Philippines twice a year, and stays for 7 months.

She knows how to enjoy life


She is Ninja Master of the Shopping Channel with a built-in radar for sales and bargains.

Never before or again shall the world see such a skilled Mahjong player, who hardly ever cheats.

This is sounding more like a Dean Martin Roast than a sentimental greeting card. I feel this is most affectionate, considering I am her son-in-law.

Lourdes best quality is that she is a praying mother - she prays for all her kids because she loves them so much.


Lourdes is youthful in appearance, and often mistaken for her daughters' sister.


Lourdes' great-granddaughter, Shelby (age 11), thinks that no one can make eggs and rices as good as Grandma.



(work in progress, to be continued)