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| Symon |
A Bit Of Light FunLife's Great Mysteries...Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? How come abbreviation is such a long word? How come there's only one Monopolies Commission? Why is there only one word for "thesaurus"? How does the man who drives the snow-plough get to work in winter? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do orientals throw hamburgers? Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together? They should be called togetherments Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is? Why does sour cream have an expiration date? The light went out, but where to? Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side? Why is the alphabet in that order? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!! Do fish get cramps after eating? Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress? Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent? Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate? Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking? Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Is it possible to be totally partial? If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? If the funeral procession is at night, do people drive with their lights off? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If the police arrest a mime-artist, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? Why is bra singular and panties plural? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? When you open a bag of cotton-wool balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why do they report power cuts on TV? |
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| Viper |
Another one i was thinking of before:
When you get toothpaste with the stirpes in it, how does it come out with the stripes staying in the line? |
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| Symon |
I could be sad and answer that one as ive been to a factory and see how they do it 
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| Viper |
Ok then 
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| ms moon |
and why is dyslexia such a hard word to spell? | ||||
| Symon |
Hello moon nice to see you here aswell And the answer is simple i dont know 
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| ms moon |
nice to see you too sy, thought i'd bite the bullet and join, save pestering you for all the answers 
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| Symon |
That will please Admin now theres two of us peatering him
I only know what i know because i look for the answers and ask silly questions that normally get me a reasonable answer. |
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| ms moon |
do you know he's not even a member here!
it'll be him coming to us for advice soon, i'll just answer, 'whatever' :mrgreen: |
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| Symon |
Just got what you meant sorry i was talking about Admin on here not tony and yes i have noticed that, wonders if he is the annoying text speaking guest 
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| ms moon |
i don't know
btw i just messed up my rank lights on ghg! |
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| Symon |
On my way or do you wnat to go to http://forum.myfreeforum.org/ftopic91.php to see if you can sort it |
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| ms moon |
i didn't mean you had to fix it, just letting you know that's where my lights went! | ||||
| Symon |
It,s ok moon if you do get stuck then shout you know where to find me. |
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| ms moon |
i've done something really daft now i can't fix it!
i'll have a look later, got to go |
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| Symon |
Oh my giddy aunt you havnt let tetley near the stella pumps have you
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| Viper |
Are you telling the truth when you lie in bed? | ||||
| Symon |
Depends who`s next to me
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| Viper |
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| ms moon |
no sy, i've done it all by myself!
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| Symon |
Have you fixed it yet | ||||
| ms moon |
no, you obviously haven't noticed what it is.
don't worry its nothing major i'm just very embarrassed
have you seen my new threads? if you don't like them say and i'll take them away |
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| Symon |
Just a red cross to me | ||||
| ms moon |
pardon? what do you mean red cross? | ||||
| Symon |
Were your lights should be is a box with a red cross in it |
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| ms moon |
you noticed!
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| Symon |
only a red cross as if a pic shouild be there but isnt | ||||
| ms moon |
can you still see my avatar? the one you did for me? | ||||
| Symon |
yes its only the bit above which should be your lights that is messed up | ||||
| ms moon |
i'm not going to own up what i did! or rather tried to do! | ||||
| Symon |
But you alraedy have and im not telling anyone
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| ms moon |
thanks sy only problem is tony saw it, he's already asked me about it
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